Owning your story and moving beyond the (self-created) obstacles that get in the way of living life with happiness and purpose.
Are you feeling stuck in the “in-between” ? You set a vision or goals for the new year and now more than 4 weeks in, where are you at?
How do you feel about your progress?
The message I have to share with you this week is:
“If I’m not happy, I can change it.”
In 2018 my biggest challenge was navigating unexpected change. I was transitioning getting back into work after the birth of my second son, Theo, all the while co-leading a movement for moms in my community AND navigating not one – but two moves within 9 months – it was something else.
At the start of the year, I felt like I was ready to “have it all.” I declared that 2018 was my year of getting back to “Me.” After two difficult births and learning how to mother two very spirited boys – without prior babysitting experience in my earlier years – it was time to take care of “Me” again. ← mamas, you may know the feeling.
It’s easy to become ATTACHED to our vision of how we think life should look – and this is source of our pain.
I had an idea of what getting back to “Me” would look like : working 3 days a week from 9am-1pm, coaching 1-2 clients per day and spending the rest of my time with people, in a work out class or over a healthy meal at one my my favorite cafes.
This was enough for me.
This vision of mine seemed reasonable and “easy.” Until it wasn’t …
This schedule that seemed so “do-able” wasn’t working for me. But I forced it.
And then I got tired.
I tried to push through my tired feelings by waking up before the kids for some meditation, coffee and “Me time” – thinking that Soul Food may give me that extra dose of energy I needed to get through the day. But then my kids started waking up at the 5am hour and I became frustrated and sadly, resentful.
After days and weeks of feeling stuck, forcing myself to plow through the resistance. Every. Single. Day. I decided it was time to surrender and take a look at the self-sabotaging “stories” that were running my life. Here’s a snapshot:
- “I’m tired (why are they waking up at 5am right when I decide to make a healthy change!??!)”
- “I’m not productive enough (will I ever be able to build my business while raising these boys!?).”
- “I’m too busy (to keep the house orderly and also walk the dog)”
- “I didn’t get enough done today (to justify our nanny costs).”
We can become addicted to our “stories” if we’re not careful. And as we feed them, they grow and seemingly become more difficult to let go.
I didn’t realize it at the time, but when I look back I saw that I was feeding these stories by bringing them to life every time I said them out loud. I especially noticed myself rehearsing them in my communication with other Moms at the preschool pick up/ drop off time where the “collective story” (I’m tired or I’m so busy) sounded similar to mine. And while telling our stories did create a “she really gets me” kind of bond, the coach in me KNEW it was time for a change.
I deserve more…
YOU ARE THE HERO OF YOUR OWN STORY
You have the power to move beyond the obstacles and limitations you face. If you are uncomfortable – you can choose to change it.
You are either a victim of your circumstances OR the master creator of your desired circumstances. In my case above, I was a victim. A victim of our landlord spontaneously selling our new home after living in it for only 8 months. A victim of my children waking up at 5am when I was committed to a morning meditation practice BEFORE they woke up. A victim of not meeting my own expectations I had of myself by not being able to accomplish my “easy,” work-life-balance schedule that I created for myself at the start of the new year.
“This can be easy.” Removing the layers of stuckness and uncertainty.
Anything your put your attention to grows in power. This includes both positive and negative thoughts. If you’ve been feeding your negative thoughts by meditating on them all throughout your day, it’s likely that you may be feeling anxious or depressed. The good news that the kind of anxiety and depression I’m referring is “situational” and we can begin our healing journey by choosing to THINK differently.
We have to rewire the brain to think differently.
Build new habits and – shut out everything else that doesn’t serve you.
And this process begins one empowering choice at a time.
I am here for you.
Setting yourself free, the road to happiness and purpose starts here.
Stop feeding your negative stories.
Raise your vibration.
Start by doing something positive for yourself everyday. Fill your brain with positive self-talk and affirmations to train your brain to work for you rather than against you.
Train your brain to:
- BE ENERGIZED
- BE PRODUCTIVE
- BE ORGANIZED
- BE POSITIVE
Keep your expectations realistic and remember to be compassionate with yourself along the way. We are human and were designed to fail, fall short and be overly emotional sometimes. Life is like school, were all learning here.
What matters most though is our willingness to recognize our strengths and get back up everytime we fall. Why? Because putting our best self in the game of life as often as possible is the greatest gift we can give those we love. ← I know this matters to you.
Freedom exists when we become unapologetically ourselves. Who you are is not the sum of your stories. There is a You, the real “You,” with talents, gifts and strengths that are hiding behind the fears and illusions you’re focusing on. The world needs more of “You” to show up.
TAKE ACTION NOW
Here are 5 steps to getting back on track after realizing that you lost yourself somewhere along the way (and those anxious thoughts are creeping in):
- Change your story – What you put your attention to grows.
- Rewire your brain to think differently – Believe you are worthy and you CAN.
- Commit to living with intentionality and with purpose.
- Raise your vibration – Do something positive for yourself everyday.
- Build new habits – Shut out everything that doesn’t serve you.
“If i’m not happy, I can change it.”
You are strong.
You are capable.
You are the creator of your circumstances.
When you’re ready to feel more of what you want in life – joy, happiness, ease, flow… it’s waiting for you.
Just say yes.
from my soul to yours,
P.S. If you’d like more #truthtelling and want to become fast friends, come hang out with me on Instagram. I’d love to connect more personally.
what’s on your mind?
I’d love to get reconnected to you so that I can create content that truly serves this community. I’d love to hear from you! What you need most in your life right now? Please hit “reply” to share what’s been coming up for you and I will reply with quick and practical advice.