How to Stop Being Controlling

Jul 27, 2015

It’s possible to train our minds to think differently. One of the ways we do this is by replacing the old, unproductive thoughts with new, nourishing thoughts that encourage us take action on the things that matter most in life. Today we are talking about the need to “control.” Let’s dive in.

When we let go of our need to control we open ourselves up to experience more personal freedom and inner peace. What things do we try to control? Our food and exercise choices? Other people’s reactions to us? If we lose control, what is the impact on the rest of the day …. is it a wash? Do we have to start over again the next day? Consider that when we release our grip on the way we think things “must” be and simply let them “BE” the way that they are, we create space to – release – of our need to control.

When we let go of our need to control we open ourselves up to experience more personal freedom and inner peace. We also open ourselves up to feeling more energetically aligned and connected to others.

What things do we try to control? The way we look? Our food and exercise choices? Our kids’ actions? Other people? The cleanliness of our home?

For many of us, this list goes on…

Why do we try to control? Typically for me, it’s because I CARE.  I care about the way I look… about living in a clean home… about the foods I put into my body… and most importantly about my kids’ health and happiness. In the past, being in control has helped me feel safe. If I can predict the outcome, then I can predict how other people will react. Its an attitude of –  if I can plan for it, then everything’s going to be OK.

But do things ever really go according to OUR PLAN for our lives?
And does “pushing the plan” really create the FREEDOM and HAPPINESS we crave?
No, not usually. 


The kind of freedom and happiness I’m talking about EXIST the moment we LET GO of control. It’s in our ability to surrender the plan. In our ability to hold a vision for what we DESIRE at the forefront of our mind and let ALL THE DETAILS go.


What’s worked for us years and years ago, may not be working for us now. Accept it. Find peace in the fact that we are no longer in the same life-stage that we were in before. It’s time to be up to creating new ways of living that satisfy our mind, body and spirit in our current life-chapter.

Lasting change occurs when we take one small step today in this moment right now… and then again in the next moment.

Say this mantra and take 3 deep breaths when you feel triggered to control your external circumstances:


I release my need to control. I allow myself to be at peace.

I do the things that I know I need to do today gracefully and with ease to the best of my ability today.

mom quote stop being controlling

ciara burton life coach for moms


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About Me

I am from San Diego, California. I have been coaching for over 11 years. I love to spend my time with my 2 kids and helping women reach their goals.